A Journey of Resilience: Jade Farojoye’s Story
The following is a speech by Jade Dillard, a member of Class 12 (2022) of Burlington (Iowa) Building Bridges.
Good evening everyone,
I’m honored to speak to all of you on behalf of Burlington Building Bridges, Class 12. My name is Jade Farojoye (formerly “Dillard”), and I’m excited to share a part of my story and how Bridges helped me.
To give you a little history, my life has been a mix of everything, so I’ll share some pivotal moments.
I grew up in West Burlington from ages 5 to 18. Honestly, I didn’t care much for living here. I always felt too different. Growing up in a small, predominantly white school and community, I was constantly reminded of my differences. I often felt like an outsider. In my early adolescent years, I embraced that “misfit” attitude like a badge of honor. I wore black, baggy clothes, dyed my hair bright colors, and chose to hang out with the wrong crowd. I thought, “Why not? I already feel out of place, so I might as well give them a real reason to talk about me.” Maybe if I lived up to the stereotype I assumed they had, they would fear me instead of making fun of me.
So, I started stealing from students at my school. I took thousands of dollars worth of money, clothes, makeup, sunglasses—anything valuable to a teenager. I didn’t keep any of it; I gave it away to friends or whoever. The thrill for me wasn’t keeping what I stole, but rather the silent revenge of getting back at anyone I could to mask the pain of not being seen. After a few months, the police caught me, and I was given probation from age 14 to 18. I had to complete 230 hours of community service, and my name and charges were published in The Hawkeye. Seeing my name printed in black and white was a huge pivotal moment. Right then, even at 14, I knew I had a choice: I could either prove them right and continue on a path of destruction, or I could prove them wrong and show everyone that I was never meant to be a statistic.
From then on, I worked incredibly hard. “Can’t” was no longer in my vocabulary. Something in my subconscious mind switched on. Suddenly, I was driven by the idea that I could prove people wrong about me—though, of course, that was all under the assumption they even thought about me in the first place.
By the next year, during a student award ceremony, I was awarded “Most Improved Student.” At the time, I found this embarrassing; they were publicly acknowledging that I was better now, which only reminded me of what I had done the year before. But honestly, I think it gave me an extra boost in morale. I started to realize that I didn’t have to be the smartest person, or the most talented, or the thinnest, or the fastest, or even the lightest person. All I had to do was outwork others and stay out of trouble. That was the strength God gave me to pursue anything.
I graduated from high school when I was 17 and immediately went to Southeastern Community College (SCC). Just like in high school, I worked incredibly hard. I became an ESL tutor for some of the Puerto Rican students there because I had taken two years of Spanish and loved it. After graduating from SCC at 19, I was tired of school and needed a break. I told my family I wanted to take a year off, move around a bit, and then come back to finish my four-year degree. Someone in my family warned me not to take any time off because I might make a huge life mistake, like getting pregnant or meeting someone and deciding not to go back to school. Well, they were absolutely right!
Before that year was up, I found myself pregnant with no interest from the father. I was living in a trailer with some women I barely knew, scraping by on my 32-hour Walmart job in Savannah, Georgia. I truly had no idea what life would look like after this. I was immature, I knew nothing about anything, and now I was pregnant with no money, a basic college education, and no real job experience.
So here I was again, at another crossroads: “Jade, what are you going to do now? Are you going to be a statistic?”
The answer was “absolutely not!” Now, let’s skip to the positive highlights.
When my daughter was eight months old, we moved to family housing in Macomb, Illinois, where I eventually graduated with honors in graphic design from Western Illinois University. Keep in mind, on my first day in my graphic design classes, I had never even touched a Mac computer before. I had never used any of the design programs, didn’t know any of the terminology—nothing. All I knew was that I could draw, I had a creative mind, and I had a good sense of layout.
I graduated with a 3.9 GPA, took all the advanced design courses that weren’t required, worked two part-time jobs, and freelanced on the side, all while taking care of my daughter, with my mother’s help, of course. For three and a half years, I only got two to three hours of sleep per night. I was focused and driven.
I worked my way up at design shops and in corporate settings to become an art director and creative director. In my field, these are among the top positions you can have.
Keep in mind, I was told by a few critics along the way that I would never go back to college after getting pregnant so young and that I would never make money doing art.
Challenge accepted. I refuse to be a statistic.
A few more positive highlights include that my daughter is beautiful and happy, and I have been a single mother for 12 years. I run the marketing department for eight cannabis companies in Colorado, working from home. I’ve moved 30 times since I was 18, making me a bit of a modern-day nomad, but this has allowed my daughter and me to meet so many amazing people and have truly unique traveling experiences.
But don’t let the highlights fool you; there were many low points where struggle and growth were necessary. I have struggled with depression most of my life. I have survived two rapes: once while pregnant, and once two years ago in Denver. I have gone through many financial struggles. Codependency and unhealthy relationships were also part of my journey. I have had to start from scratch multiple times. I have grown, I have been challenged, I have grown, and then I have been challenged some more. I have been able to conquer this life through no one else but Jesus Christ. My story is truly a story about God’s grace, love, and mercy over me. It’s about how He never gave up, never let me go, never forsake me. On my own, I am a weak-minded, weak-willed, complacent person. It is only by His strength that I have been able to take on the risks and challenges of life.
When I first came to Bridges, I had just moved back to Iowa from Georgia, having been in Colorado just before that, all within a span of four months. Relationship-wise, I was in a difficult place. I had also just had a miscarriage, just moved back to the town I disliked as a child, had a couple of friends but not many here, and honestly, I really just didn’t know where to go. It’s a long story about why I went from Colorado to Georgia to Iowa, but the point is, when Mona asked me to sign up for the Getting Ahead classes, I was not in the best headspace. My life was jumbled. I had just made three moves in a short time, I wanted to be married and have another baby, but I was going about it all the wrong way. I didn’t have much of a community, and I was a bit of a recluse.
Bridges helped me come back to life. I am already a pretty positive person, but coming into Bridges, I was in a place where I felt lost. Bridges helped me come out of my shell again. I used to be a very lively, outgoing, fun-filled person, but after the rape in Denver, I lost sight of that part of myself. Bridges has truly taught me a lot, but some of my biggest takeaways were that I understand budgeting better now, I raised my credit score by 15 points (still working on that), and I have a better perspective on social classes and resources in Burlington. But for me personally, I feel like I found myself again. I feel like it’s okay to be me again.
My classmates provided a safe space where I could open up and be seen, and they allowed me to see them too. We will forever have this 18-week experience together, no matter how involved we are in each other’s lives. Oh, and the biggest new thing in my life is that my future husband found me, and we are moving to Chicago with my daughter in the next few weeks!
Life is good, and God is good.
Unity in Diversity Motto
We accept the term “poverty” only as a noun, but never as a mindset. Class 12, “The Dirty Dozen,” the “Misfit Toys,” the originators of #themeatman; we came to this class as strangers and walked out as changed warriors. Hand in hand, we stand fighting the good fight together in this thing we call LIFE. We are not defined by the money in our wallets, our education, resources, social class, marital status, race, gender, our circumstances, or our past. We are, however, defined as mothers and fathers, daughters and sons, thinkers, solution-finders, game changers, and now, graduates! We have lived, we have laughed, and we have loved on one another. Knowing each other, whether it be for a season or a lifetime, we have impacted each other in such a beautiful way. Through Bridges, we are changed for the better. We are empowered with the knowledge and resources we need to make a change and continue to make changes. Never give up, and no one left behind. We are Class 12, 2022.
Cheers to “Unity in Diversity.”
Jade is a Getting Ahead graduate. The aha! Process Getting Ahead program offers participants a facilitated group setting that leads them, step by step, through a process of self-discovery. Participants not only learn how they got to where they are now, but they are empowered to see a path to the future life they want. Getting Ahead participants build relationships with peers and mentors who make the Getting Ahead journey together.
